Movie Review – “Star Trek Beyond”



A No-Holds-Barred Adventure.

Forgive me father, for I have sinned…

I’m (basically) a Star Trek virgin.


(Sorry, Spock)

I watched the 2009 “Star Trek” and “Star Trek: Into Darkness” virtually immediately before seeing this one (and enjoyed them both). Otherwise, I haven’t seen a single episode or any other movies.

(I’m assuming 67% of you have given up on me and have quit reading. For those who stayed, hats off to you. There will be a surprise for you at the end)

A large percentage of people who saw this movie saw it with an extensive knowledge of the franchise, and they take that to the theater with them. I, on the other hand, am giving you my unbiased, unbridled review (see my Star Wars review for something a bit more fangirly)

A pure adventure film.

The crew of the Enterprise aren’t a military crew. Their #1 priority is to explore and “Boldly go where no man has gone before”.


(See, Sulu! I’m figuring it out)

While the previous 2 movies were good, I thought they played a bit too much on the military/action aspects and not enough on pure adventure. “Beyond” improves on that quite a bit. It leaves the characters stranded on a hostile planet, making them have meaningful interaction with each other to find a solution. Not just blowin’ shit up.

(TRUST ME though, there is plenty popcorn action to satisfy you).

It’s a bit more self-contained, as 75% happens on the same planet.

The movie completely immerses you in it’s world of outlandish characters, intricate worlds, and insane technology. It’s a geek’s paradise.

It does a good job of building on some well-known characters (both Kirk and Spock have big , juicy arcs in this movie) while introducing some fun new ones.

Fun fact, the script was penned by Simon Pegg, A.K.A. Scottie, one of my favorite peoplein Hollywood.

The actors are all perfectly cast, and Zachary Quinto in particular turns in a moving performance.


I just wish Uhara was written so that Zoe Saldana could use a bit more of those acting chops. She doesn’t do much, unfortunately.

Otherwise, I will never get tired of watching Karl Urban say “Damnit”, I will never get tired of Chris Pine getting his ass kicked, I will never get tired of Simon Pegg running around yelling in a Scottish accent, and I will never get tired of Zachary Quinto’s oh-so-perfect eyebrow raise.


I will admit, this characterStar-Trek-Beyond-640x370.jpg

Is EEEERILY similar to this one from Pocahontas: A Michael Bay story..neytiri_in_avatar_2-wide-do-we-really-need-avatar-2-avatar-2-plot-speculation-pandora-zoe-saldana-more-jpeg-121352.jpg

(Played by Zoe Saldana. Go figure)


(But like, where the hell did What’s-her-face go??)


Also, though not as good as Bennysnatch Cumberbundt, Idris Elba turns in a delectable performance as Sci-Fi villain in prosthetic #117 (Seriously people. We get it. Prosthetic is cool. Whatevs.)


See it.

The movie is best described in one word: Fun. Does it have it’s flaws? Absolutely. Some plot points are distractingly predictable, and the plot lags at one point or another. But it will swoop you off your feet and suck you into a complex, beautiful world. And that’s pretty damn good for Sci-Fi!


Also, for those who stayed to read, here’s your prize.



You’re welcome.





Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s