Movie Review – “Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice””

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What the hell just happened?

First of all, don’t let the title of “Batman v. Superman” deceive you. By “Batman v. Superman” you’d think they might mean “a movie of epic proportions, where heroes are pitted against each other and fight for the good of mankind” or something. No, what they meant was “LET’S BLOW YOUR BRAINS OUT WITH (insert decent scene) INSANE VISUAL EFFECTS AND REALLY LOUD (Oh! Here’s a good part!) NOISES”. Yeah.

The FX are the highlight (lowlight) of the film.

The visual and audio effects are striking. Not always in the best way though. It begins to sort of feel like

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Throughout the movie, especially towards the climax (Which climax though? When Batman and Superman fight? When Batman and Superman fight this big green monster thing? When Wonder woman shows up? This movie is reeeaaallly hard to keep up with).

The movie will bombard you with explosion after explosion followed by crazy visuals followed by another, slightly larger explosion.

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It is a Tyson-esque FX beatdown that almost completely erases any emotional content in the film.

The plot is incredibly scattershot and inconsistent

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(Sorry Ben. Not even your adorable dimple chin could save this script)

This movie jumps around so much, it’s hard to even remember the title – BATMAN V. SUPERMAN. It attempts to intertwine a variety of subplots and bring them crashing together in a beautiful, resonant conclusion.  BUT NO.

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The result is an incredibly messy, incoherent cluster of decent battle sequences, lots of scenes filled with way-too-intense dialogue, and about 3 1/2 good emotional moments.

That’s not to say the movie doesn’t have its moments. The scene in which Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, and Lex Luthor first meet at a gala at Lex Luthor’s house in terrific.

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It’s smartly paced, with lots of tension and some great acting (unfortunately, we don’t get to see Henry Cavill and Ben Affleck act together enough. Most of Ben’s scenes involve him mainly doing something like this)

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or this

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OR EVEN THIS

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(hey, at least he’s in the suit!)

Another high point is the titular battle between Batman and Superman. It’s what we were waiting for the whole time, right?!

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Unfortunately, this 8-minute battle scene is overshadowed by a way-too-long, absolutely ridiculous ending fight between Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, and this weird Kryptonite Hulk thing. 31.jpg

Some films are able to overshadow their low points with incredible highs. “Batman V. Superman” does the opposite.

Jesse Eisenberg is as incredibly annoying as you thought he would be.

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I, along with many others, was perplexed by the casting of Jesse Eisenberg as Lex Luthor, the diabolical mastermind who opposes Superman. If you expected him to be disappointing, he did not disappoint. He was strange (not in a villainous way. In a “get the hell of the screen” way), awkward, and not at all terrifying. This isn’t to say he isn’t a very talented actor. The dude has an Oscar nomination! I just think he was terribly, terribly miscast. His weirdo personality is better served in the attractions of Adventureland or the halls of Facebook.

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SKIP IT.

You will be mildly entertained at times, and mostly bored and confused at others. This is a movie that misses the mark by a LONG shot.

 

 

 

 

 

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